OneAuthenticSwing.Org

Bring Meaning to Work and Purpose to Spirituality

In the management classic, The Trusted Advisor, a group of consultants from the top of their profession laid out a roadmap for building trust in their clients. Credibility, reliability, intimacy and non-self-orientation have been prescribed as the path to increasing level of trust for the client-advisor relationship.

In my own experience, credibility and reliability are indeed the necessary foundation of trust in any type of human relationship. Trust, unlike good will, is NOT free and must be earned through challenging experiences. Soldiers trust each other only after they have demonstrated the willingness of holding each other’s back. A business team starts to bond only after going through some tough challenges together, completing a difficult assignment or achieving an unrealistic goal. In all cases, credibility and reliability are the entry tickets to taking even greater risks and building even deeper trust.

Where things get tricky is the notion that intimacy builds trust. My experiences suggest that intimacy cannot be separated from non-self-orientation in the original formula. Whenever intimacy comes at the expense of non-self-orientation, the resulting trust does not last. Soon or later it implodes. The path to non-self-orientation goes through vulnerability first and foremost with intimacy only as a secondary attribute of the experience. Our biggest learning and growth comes from facing and dealing with unfamiliar situations when we feel insecure and vulnerable, just like soldiers go to war without having experienced war before. If we survive it, we succeed in building trust. Otherwise, it doesn’t matter how brilliantly we decorate ourselves in words. Therefore, vulnerability is more important and crucial than intimacy for building trust. Intimacy for the sake of intimacy could be an obstacle, not catalyst, of building trust as it shelters us from real challenges and conflicts and induces group think which prevents us from facing and achieving genuine progress or breakthroughs.

Another critical element missing from this recipe of trust is purpose. No one in his or her right mind would confront the pains of vulnerability without a compelling purpose. To build sustainable trust between human beings, they must share a common purpose to some degree. In fact, the depth of their trust will go only as deep as their shared purpose would allow. Beyond that, it becomes blind, confused and untrustworthy – the definition for lack of trust.

So here is my revised recipe of building trust: credibility, reliability, vulnerability and purpose. Give it a try and see if it works.

Views: 14

Comment

You need to be a member of OneAuthenticSwing.Org to add comments!

Join OneAuthenticSwing.Org

What We Do


Our Intention
Our Process
Our Method
Feedback (First Timers)
Feedback (Regulars)

Discover Our Community
Paul's Frustrations and Hopes
Wake-Up Call (Members Only)
There's Got To Be a Better Way!

The Initial Clue
A Better Way: Improving Real Productivity
A Better Way: Improving Quality of Life
Challenges and Solutions for the Technocrats
Kelly's Five Most Significant Life Stones

Gerry's Five Most Significant Life Stones
Tina's Five Most Significant Life Stones
Yan's Five Most Significant Life Stones
Paul's Five Most Significant Life Stones
Aha Moments
The Experience of Opening Up
Bridging The Intellectual and Emotional Divide
Open Mind - Overcoming the Voice of Judgment
Open Heart - Overcoming the Voice of Cynicism
Open Will - Overcoming the Voice of Fear
Let Go and Let Come
Love, Family and Relationships Part I
Love, Family and Relationships Part II
Love, Family and Relationships Part III
Earth Quakes, Civilization and Progress
The Two Sides of Corporate Responsibility
The Limits of Democracy
On the Right Side of History and Happy Side of Marriage
Learning to Move with the Universe Part I
Learning to Move with the Universe Part II

Transform Your Competance
Play Alone Play Smart
Overcoming the Loneliness of Being
Love, Peace and Intention Part I

Love, Peace and Intension Part II

The Arrow of Heart
Transformation In Context

Masterful Act, New Complexity and Transformation
Small what, small how and Big What, Big How
The Process of Transformation
Go with the Artist
Freedom, Connections and The Creative Tension
How and Why to Write a Case

The Art of Writing a Case
Creating Your Own Master Piece
Master Pieces Are Not Created Overnight
Feedback, Flow and the Quality of Life
Is Nature Becoming More Complex?
Motivation Is the Question
Why Is Nature Inspiring?
Creative Destruction
Creativity and The Architecture of Reality
Growing the Seeds of Intention
Harnessing the Power of Intention

Master Your Practice or Impact Skills
What Do We Mean by Mastery?

Cog on a Wheel
Mining Deeper Energy at Work
Optimizing Organizational Energy
Improving R&D Productivity

© 2017   Created by Yan Song.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service